~Brainless Love Story~

I did`t mean to hurt you, I don`t know why I don`t have any fear on doing those things... Ya, you were right, I`ve said it many times, but none I really did... I`m really afraid after every-time finish spending time with you...Many things cannot been say with word nor actions... How can someone let the one they love know they really regretting? There are so many things left to say, but I don`t know how to mention with words..... Really should give me some time to cool down and thinking what I`ve did in those moments... Really scary, no more.... I want no more~

爱一人

如果你不爱一个人,

请放手.

好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,

请放开自己,

好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,

有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种 .

但别让自己为一种伤害.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,

有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人不一定要拥有,

但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.

女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,

我选择谎言;

如果谎言一种伤害,

我选择沉默;

如果沉默是一种伤害,

我选择离开.

如果失去是苦，

你怕不怕付出 ,

如果迷乱是苦，

你会不会选择结束,

如果追求是苦，

你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,

如果分离是苦，

你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,

好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do

I`m happy, not? Yes?? Not sure, cause I don`t think I`m getting what I wanted... After met with Ms world of my mind, my life starts to get pressure or relax?? All I know is, I just wanna spend time with someone I`m really trusted and can spend time talking with.... Which one is the perfect match for this job?? I`m not hiring anyone to get paid or what, I just want a person can really sit down and listens to what I`m crapping around.... Sighs~* Felt like being ignored and became a life-suit again... But this time only it gets better than the last one.... The 5 "C"s, Certificate, Credit Cards, Cashes, Cars, Condos, it really hard for me to succeed... Cause I`m not born from a wealthy family background, the only thing I can do is count on myself for getting what i wanted.... Hopefully she`ll understand and know what I`m looking for.... She`s been acting strangely, don`t know much about her yet since still just nearly a month. So, I used my mind, used my feeling, but in the end, i still gets an empty mind in my head.... Zzz... I`m really dissapointed with myself, since the day I finish my 2ndary studies, no one really actually askes what I need and don`t even made me felt they care. Till now, I`m working in Acer Highpoint, nearly get myself dead for having breads as my lunch for 2 month for just to get my PAY CHEQUE ... Although its quite torturing, but i know i safe it for a reason, just wanna make my future with my other half gets a better lifestyle. Ish~ She told me that now is not the time for it, but she did`t rejects... So should I continue?? Take a break, pause the game, or just go turn off the main switch just to let it go?? I think I`m not ready for it too, cause I`m not the playing someones relationship kind of guy... I just wants to find a mate that really can sit down, be true, be caring for each of us, honest, trust, don`t care about what problem we are having just to solve it together... I`ll feel enough.... Maybe i`m still got some homeworks to study on her, so, hopefully this time will pay off... Only time will tells, and its getting late, I`m working tomorrow. So till then... To Be Continued~~~

~A Memorable Sweet 18 day~

It starts with a mind that thinks "Haiz... no party, no celebration, no friends gathering....Not even a single wish from the one who i suspected to give me. It would be totally different than other people compared to mine, they get it, I can`t....". Until this day... Firstly, it begins with a normal family dinner with all my uncles, aunts and cousins too. But not all of them... Right after the foods were served, the truth of the main purpose for this dinner had showed, that is because of my cousin sis suddenly came back from UK, owh, what a surprise, everyone there were shocked especially my 4th aunt. She absolutely have no idea that her daughter will come back from UK from all of a sudden... Then tears drops down from her face, may be she was too happy about it, I don`t know?? Cause I`m also shocked when I saw her...

The foods were totally and obviously too many and everyone can`t even finish it, so right before the "party" ends, my mum does what she likes the most... TaPao... XD Just when she finish packing everything, suddenly everyone starts to sing birthday song... "原来", my mum and my cousin sis bought me a birthday cake ahhh..... Everyone starts to yell "大个仔咯,大个仔咯", and my dad starts to talk funny crapping... The scene were really joyful, I`m very shocked, again, and happy too... During that time, in my mind, there were too many things that cannot be pronouns by words, no matter happiness or sadness... Everything.... Haiz, nowadays, I don`t have enough time to write my blog to share my feelings, even when I`m in the mood of it, my eyes starts to feel tired cause working does really been exhausting me... Maybe I can edit this again later on... Till then....

Thanks Jasmine Sis, Esther sis and my Mum too....

What`s In Me??

It all began on the day I met you all, my first impression was "it will be a lot of joy and fun going to start to build with them". But after quite some time, my buddies start to give comments and opinions about whats going with me lately... Ya, thanks guys, I know I`ve made you all to notice somethings is going on, and thanks for telling me before I got too over myself... I did`t do anything special and I`m pretty normal in my every daily action, if you suspect something is going on between me and the other person, I`m sorry there are nothing to be worried about cause nothing really is actually going on...

How bout I write it like this, 最近也许表面上是有些东西引起你们发觉我有点古怪，可是我没什么。。。可能是因为我自己不想旧戏重演历史，所以我选着了不要给太多思想在我脑里徘徊。。。 受伤可以复原,可是我不想再浪费时间去养伤，我们剩下在中学里的时间不多了，还是好好的去珍惜完它吧~ 那些烦恼还是留在没人看见的时候才在慢慢的去处理吧。。。

After knowing those bunch of monkeys that always putting their smiles anywhere and wherever they go, I`ve learnt to not to think too much on every single decision I choose, just go with it and everything will be turned out right... I`ve been along with them quite a period, and join them anywhere they go and last Saturday held a BBQ party at my house that really makes me feel happy that I have these kind of friends although I`ve been very busy preparing, but HEY, at least everyone enjoyed it right?? So, no worries, there will be no complaining from me... I`m hoping for the next one to come, hopefully everyone in my mind will appear and show up in the next upcoming gathering and so on, so on till the day we get old... I really liked it very much.

Today, comes the crazay McD day... a group of 10 Perimbun students in thier school uniforms gathered here including myself having lunch after school. Well, nothing special happened especially the tradition food mixing event kept held on... At the begining, I was having a mind that I`ll won`t be participating the game since it will happen in the next gathering, but as the game starts to get pretty excited, YC kept asking me and force me to join... So i can`t reject the offer cause I`m also having a change in mind to participate with them... Hehe, its pretty fun but disgusting it trains your guts to do it... In the end, turns out to be 10 of us, I`m the only one that NEVAH~! lost and NEVAH~! need to drink that mixed ????~?(what should I called it guys??) Before I signing off on this blog, to all my dearest friends and buddies, I apologize for anything that I`ve made you all feel dissatisfied and I hope you all accepted it....

Conclusion And The Outcomes Already Known....

This is a story that all my cousins already told me about a stupid man that stupid enough to think that there`s a hidden world under the giant pacific ocean...He is a lawyer and a wealthy man with a bright future ahead of him. Everyone knows that it is a ridiculous story, it is impossible that there`s really a world underneath all mankind that life for so many centuries. But no matter what they tell the man, he ignores and think that is really another world in the pacific ocean and he said that he wants to prove it to everyone that he is not lying...

So he set his journey from his hometown all the way to the coast of the pacific, and he had used up all his money to buy all the diving kits and tools. So as he starts on the first day, he dives into the big pacific ocean with some of the members he had been asked to come along and end up finding nothing. And the day follows and still ends with the same results. After months of hunting and discovering, his friends finally starts to gave up one by one and not helping him on finding the hidden world under the pacific. His friends tries to persuade him many times and says that it is ridiculous about what he is finding for.

The day after his friends left and went back to their homes, this man still trying as hard as his can to find this undiscovered world until terror happens. The next day, as he prepares to dives into the ocean, he had forgotten to open up his oxygen tank knob to release oxygen into his face mask. so as he dives into the deep sea, he starting to feel uncomfortable and panic. By the time he know that there`s bad things going to be happen to him, his friends were not there.... As he keeps on panic and shaking his whole body and tried to eject his diving kits, due to lack of oxygen, he passed out and starts to sinks with the ocean down to the seafloor. By that time he only get regrets on what his doing and hoping to get back with his family and friends, but by that time, it was already too late....

After listening to this story, I asked myself to not to do things the way this man does... But I don`t know why my action denies what my mind ask to do... Sad, its been a month, many bad things I`ve got but none of the good ones... Why, I be so obstinate like that man?? Why I can`t just simply let it go??

A Warm Welcome Back Online To Myself

After a long time without internet connection support, finally I can get back online without any problem. There`s alot of things I`ve missed with absents online, but I`ll try my best to retrive it without a single that slips away.... I`ve been sad for leaving this blogspot for just short period of time because I can`t get to share my emotions and feelings with the world and especially my dear friends that I wanted to stay together so much....

Although the most unwanted thing had happened, but I`m still manage to forgive... Its been totally half of a year that i stay away from them and most importantly St .John, I`m really lost and missed out so much activities and moments of memories with my gang of nice lovely friends after I`ve resigned from my post because of some small matters.... (It is small from now, but it is not back then) There`s so much to tell than write in words with such a big I.T space, some more I`m still can`t get the hang of using this blogspot entirely yet.

Oh God, where should I start??? Okay, lets see, lets just don`t talk back the past because I don`t want to make my best buds to be grieved, I don`t wanted to make it worst... After a short while passed the mid-year holiday, and I`m back into St .John with joyful and smooth glad by reunite with my friends and made new friends with a bunch of monkeys (no offends my dear friends XD) that only knows cheers and happiness all the time in their minds, wow, their are very playful youngsters I can tell and I can still get the hang of it.... I can admit, I`m really get back the things I mostly wishes for in my life in school years, it doesn`t matters that how much I`ve missed before this, but I`m glad that I can have such people to be friends with... You all will always in my heart guys....

In this blog, I just wanna tell about how I feel for such a long time offlined and eversince that day I`ve been wanted to express my feeling but don`t know I should turn to who.... *Haiz... There`s so much to say and I`ll try my best to get updated with you who watching and reading my blog, its been a roller coaster ride. Till then *peace (^_^)V out

Wait wait wait~ I`m not finish just yet, its been one whole year after me and my buds goes for NCO course and now its the time for us to retired and let new warriors to start climbing, here`s what we`ve done for last years AGM in St .John, its edited and cut by "ME" and the storyline is produced by all of the cast and crews in this short clip. Enjoy my friends and AJK St .John 09/10, Haha...